Jesus, where are you?

After talking and crying to my friend, I had explained to her how I felt like I was walking a parallel path of what Jesus wants for me. I'm kind of on the right track but need to find more of Jesus so He can show the way. So I told her I was searching for Jesus and wanting to know where I could find more of Him. There is a deeper connection He wants to have with me. Scripture tells us "….seek and you will find…"(Matthew 7:7). So seeking I went. I was looking for Him in the Bible, (thinking that was the obvious place to start), I was looking for Him in other books about Christ, looking for Him at Church, looking for Him through friends and relationships, I just keep looking but…nothing, no Jesus. My friend turns to me with a smile and as she is walking toward me asks, "You know where He is?" With wonder in my head thinking…..I already tried the Bible He's not there, so…..no, not exactly. She places her hand on my heart and says, "He's in here." It took a few minutes but the light bulb went on.

It seems so simple right? He told me I asked Him into my heart a long time ago but never really knew He was there. I was looking for Him in all the wrong places. Mostly in my relationships with men. The hurting I felt when I realized my boyfriend didn’t accept Christ, was the hurt Christ felt when I didn’t realize He was in my heart, because it meant I hadn’t fully accepted Him. "What?" I thought, I hadn't accepted Him? I couldn’t believe it. All this time, trying to do the right things and be good "Christian" I hadn't accepted Christ? He told me I knew it in my head, but it was my heart that He wanted. So right then, I handed it over. Gave Him all control and I found Him. I know where He is. He's in my heart! He really is in my heart! I told Him I wanted to hang on tight to Him and never let Him out of my heart and then He tells me the best way to hold tight to Him is to open my heart and let Him pour out.